Although university is traditionally seen as an opportunity for boys and girls to start afresh, drink copious amounts and start romantic trysts with as many new exciting and different people as possible, for every one night stand there’s a couple.
If you’re going into your second year this year, you’ll notice even more couples around campus, in the library, on the bus, in your friendship groups as people start to put away their pulling shoes and get loved up. Obviously every couple is different, but here are a few stereotypes that you may notice.
Everything in this couple’s life is a drama and boy, do they love to shout about it. No-one knows at any one time whether they’re together, apart, on a break, back together, in an open relationship or just simply screwing around. Their seedy dramas can often be found splashed across Facebook and it’s hard to take any apparent break-up seriously as they will always kiss and make-up (extremely showily) within the next week. For a while at least.
To an outsider, this couple does not seem like a couple. Both parties try as hard as they can to act as disinterested in the other as possible in an ever-present struggle for the upper hand. They keep their affection for each other behind closed doors and have a penchant for insulting each other in ever more new and innovative ways. You’ll never see evidence of their love on Facebook but they’ll steal the occasional kiss in a club when they’re drunk enough to forget they’re supposed to be acting aloof.
The Odd Couple
The couple that makes you go ‘Really?!’ when you hear about them. One loves drinking, cars and Playboy models. The other enjoys politics, Bach and cooking. Two of the most mismatched people in York University have somehow found something in common. It’s usually sex.
The most sickening of the couples, the Lovebirds are rarely seen apart. Unable to finish any sentence without proclaiming their love or being attached at the mouth, others are forced to endure long and explicit PDAs. So inseparable that sometimes you think they’ve fused into one Siamese twin of love and mushy nicknames. The worst kind of couple to have around you on Valentine’s Day.
The Dream Team
The Dream Team look as if they ought to be in glossy magazines advertising underwear. A treat for the eyes, they are both as gorgeous as each other and they know it. Often to be found strutting down York high street together in tastefully complementing outfits, attracting stares of admiration and envy. When they start PDAs in front of you and your friends, it’s hard to stop staring and feels as if you’re watching a live soft-porn movie. They often acquire a fusion nickname akin to Brangelina.
The Long Distance
You usually only know one half of the Long Distance couple but become acquainted with their other halves when they come to stay. The Long Distance couple live on Skype and if Skype crashes, you know about it. You end up knowing by heart the exact amount of time they’ve been together and how many days it is until they next visit because they’re so excited about it.
Originally published on The Yorker 29th September 2010